Potter Perturbed
by purple pickle
Summary: What if Uncle Dursley didn't lock Harry's bedroom door the day of the All England Best Kept Suburban Lawn Competition?


For most children, summertime is the greatest time of the year. Three months of no school and non-stop fun, staying up way past the regular bedtime, and sleeping in to get twelve or more hours of uninterrupted sleep. Everyone loves summer and the activities that come with this spectacular season. Everyone loves to go to the local, public swimming pool and spend the day in the sun with a ton of sunscreen to protect against sunburn. The family vacations to different parts of the country are always events children look forward to all year, and usually children dread when school starts back up again and they are made to get out of bed before they reached their twelve-hours-of-sleep goal and go off to school where they immediately wish it were summertime again.

Harry Potter wasn't like the other kids; he disliked the summer holidays an awful lot. He even disliked them more now than he has ever done in the past, because his friends and godfather have refused to tell him anything important about He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. He hasn't even gotten a single letter from his headmaster, which made him even angrier. Harry spent most of his time locked up in his room, secluded from the rest of the family, but he has been going outside more this summer than he did in the past summers. He's been hanging around parks mostly, trying to avoid his cousin and his gang.

Harry was a tall, thin, dangly boy of fifteen years of age. He has a lot of jet-black, untidy hair and round glasses. Behind his glasses were his emerald green eyes, which, he has been told an load of times by various people, that his eyes were just like his mother's eyes were. None of Harry's clothes fit him. His clothes used to belong to his cousin, who is extremely large, and were given to Harry when he outgrew them. So all of Harry's clothes were extra, extra large, when medium would fit him perfectly fine.

Lying on his bed in his bedroom, Harry stared up at the plain ceiling thinking of everything that had happened the last couple of days. Harry and his cousin was in an alleyway when two Dementors, guards of the wizard prison Azkaban, and attacked them. The Dementors fled from the alleyway after Harry performed the Patronus Charm and a silver stag chased them away. A neighbor that used to baby-sit Harry arrived and took the two boys back to number four Privet Drive, where Harry told his aunt and uncle exactly what happened. Three owls arrived with letters to Harry: one was expelling him from school, the other was from his friend's dad, and the third was from his godfather. Harry's aunt even was sent a howler, a scarlet, screaming letter, which did not make the slightest bit of sense to him at all.

Opening the door to Harry's bedroom, Uncle Vernon peered through the darkness of the room at his nephew. Uncle Vernon was dressed in a very nice suit, so Harry new before his uncle opened his mouth that he was going out and most likely leaving him alone at the house and take his wife and son to whatever it was that they were going to.

Bingo! Harry had it right. Uncle Vernon, Aunt Petunia, and Dudley Dursley were going out for some lawn competition thing they won. Harry was barely listening to his uncle, so didn't really understand what he was saying, but he didn't care anyway. Uncle Vernon shut the bedroom door after telling Harry all of the rules he has to go by. After the door was closed, the bedroom was dead still and silent. Harry didn't hear his uncle locked his door, but heard his uncle's car start and drive away.

The house was still, dark, and unnervingly quiet. If he had a stereo of some kind, Harry would blast music just to break the silence, but he didn't have a stereo, radio, or basically anything in his room. He supposed he could steal his cousin's for the night, but Harry didn't feel much like listening to music anyway. He didn't feel much like doing anything, really. So he lay on his back, staring at the ceiling, and let his mind wander away from what has happened the last couple of days.

He thought of the Quidditch World Cup he attended with his friends last year. He thought of how amazing flyers the players were, all of the people from school he saw at the Cup, and Cho Chang. Harry's heart beat a little faster at the thought of the pretty girl. Harry could see her long, straight, shiny, black hair dancing around the girl's body. Her beautiful face, perfect physique, radiant smile and pearly white teeth, Harry could see her perfectly clear inside his once crowded head. Just ten minutes he felt like he needed a Pensieve to put his mind into just so his head didn't feel like exploded with all of the questions he was longing to ask anyone that had answers. Now he was almost struck dumb at the memory of Cho Chang.

Looking down, he saw that is was shirtless and missing his pants, but he didn't remember ever taking these articles of clothing off of his body. His hands slowly made their way down his body to his package, which his underwear, that was once his cousin's when he was thirteen, supported. His thoughts steadily progressed, and his hands continued to rub through the fabric of his underwear.

Before things got too hot and heavy for the fifteen year old, Harry stood and slipped off his underwear, which felt like was going to burst if his erection was not released. He opened his bedroom door, walked out onto the dark landing, and made his way to the bathroom. Flipping on the light switch when he entered the small bathroom, Harry looked under the cabinet under the sink and grabbed a new roll of toilet paper for him to use; He figured the Dursleys would be out for a long time.

He shut the cabinet door loudly and slightly hurriedly and walked back onto the landing and froze in shock. A large group of people stood in just a few yards away staring at Harry. Harry stared back, unable to move his feet. It was like the group of people were Basilisks and Harry saw the reflection of their eyes in the glass in the picture frames on the wall.

"Harry?" Said a shocked and embarrassed voice from the front of the group. When Harry adverted his attention to the man he saw that it was Remus Lupin. Beside Harry's old teacher at school was another former teacher of Harry's, Mad-Eye Moody, whose ugly mouth was open and looked like he just swallowed a sea slug.

Behind Lupin and Moody, a woman's voice said, "What is the hold up? I can't see," and she lit her wand and slipped between Harry's former teachers and broke into hysterical laughter at the sight of Harry, the boy who lived. With the light from the woman's wand, her hair was violet and looked like she belonged in a rock and roll concert somewhere, Harry could see the uncomfortable looks the other people in the group had as they looked down the hall at him.

The violet woman's laughter seemed to unfreeze Harry's feet. He turned around so fast someone could mistake him for lightening, and bolted into the bathroom. He slammed the door behind him and locked it. The woman's laughter was getting even more hysterical and loud now, that Harry thought she might break the glass in the picture frames.

"Harry, it's okay. It is normal for a fifteen year old to be doing." Said Lupin's voice though the bathroom door.

"Keep it in your pants, boy; nobody wants to see that." Said Moody in his usual growl. The woman's laughter increased in volume at these words.

"Quiet, please, Nymphadora-" Lupin began to the woman, and the laughter silenced at once.

"_Don't call me Nymphadora!_" She said angrily. Harry just wanted to crawl into the cabinet under the sink and never come out. His face felt very hot, despite the fact that he was completely naked and sitting on the cold, bathroom tile. He had no idea why Lupin, Moody, and all of those other people were in the Durlsey's house, but he wanted them to leave and never come back.

"Harry, we're here to take you to the headquarters of the Order of Phoenix." Lupin said, speaking loudly as to make sure his voice could be heard by Harry through the wood of the door. "So – uh – come out and get dressed and we can get going."

"I can't." Harry said miserably.

"Why not, Harry?"

"Because it's still I _up_."

There was some more giggling from the woman, then Lupin spoke again, "Oh, yes. Kingsley, could you please collect Harry's clothes for him?" There was a deep murmur and a minute later Lupin spoke again. "Okay, Harry, here are you're clothes. If you open the door I can give them to you." Harry opened the door two inches and peered through the crack. Everyone was staring at him, except the violet-haired woman who has looking away from Harry and at a picture of the Dursley family on the hall wall and whistling a tune to herself. Lupin handed over the extra, extra large shirt, jeans, and underwear he was wearing earlier and Harry snatched them out of his hands and shut the door the second his hand and clothes were inside the bathroom.

Dressing at top speed, Harry waited a few minutes before opening the bathroom door again. He tried to pretend that they didn't just see him completely naked and erect for fifteen seconds, it felt like years to Harry, but it didn't make him want to face them any more. Eventually, he gathered the courage and opened the door and walked out into the hall. He immediately began to blush scarlet, as their attention was set back onto him.

"Good," Moody growled when he saw that Harry was dressed. "Now that Potter's penis has been put away, let's get moving." And he limped away, leaving Harry just as embarrassed as he was when he was caught like a deer in the headlights.

THE END


End file.
